Bright Eyes (according to ED)
Remember that time where you got bullied on the playground? Conor Oberst got bullied more. Remember that time where you tried to hang yourself in the shower stall of your dormitory? Conor Oberst tried that and failed - twice. Remember when your uncle made you give him a blow job while you were going through a car wash? Nobody could hear Conor Oberst either, but he cried longer and harder. Bright Eyes exemplifies all there is to hate about indie and emo music. But, if you dare question his “aptitude as an artist” to anybody between the ages of 15 and 30 be prepared for a stroll through living hell. We all know sounding like you have cerebral palsy when you sing is deep AND hip, as Bright Eyes has sculpted the woeful, pissy singer facade quite well. To quote another indie band, (NO WAI) Cursive, Bright Eyes can be summed up in simple lyrics, “Well here we go again, the art of acting weak,fall in love to fail to boost your CD sales”. Strange, the two bands come from the same label, Saddle Creek, which is about the most obnoxious thing to come out of Nebraska since… oh wait, it’s the only thing to come out of fucking Nebraska. Ever. Jesus fuck.
