Slipknot (according to ED)
Slipknot - (aka Slipcock, Shitknot, Skiplot, Slopkunt, I’d-Rather-Have-A-Blood-Clot, Slapknut Slaptit) or occasionally even is a faggot wanna-be metal band that is usually listened by 12 year old boys who want to be “SO COOL AND HARDCORE-DESU!!” from the middle of nobody cares. Originating in a mystical land known as “Iowa”, Slipknotis an angsty mallcore band who are a favorite of 16 year old girls, poseur goths, indiefucks, 7-11 cashiers in their early to mid-20’s and other Hot Topic drama whores. Consisting of at least 100 members (many of whom were unsuspecting victims randomly abducted off the street), Slipknot is fronted by singer Corey “Midget” Taylor, drummer Joey Jordison, and token fatass Shawn “Clown” Crahan. Their lyrics are typical angst-ridden shit covering subjects such as bleeding to death, swearing, Pseudo-Satanism, imaginary girlfriends, swearing, gouging your eyes out and also swearing. Don’t forget about the whole, “We’re not in it for the money, so go to Hot-Topic and buy a SlipKnoT bar stool, shot glass, hat, hoodie and T-Shirt, cause we’re so not in it for the money!!!elevenone!!”
All of the band members wear distinct masks and boilersuits. A common unfounded rumor is that they wear masks to hide the semen and Santorum stains on their faces. While this may certainly be true, it’s most likely because they’re all fuck-ugly.
When not bitching, whining, and cursing in interviews about how “fucking brutal” they are, the band members can be found engaging in homosexual acts, raping Joseph Stalin, and beating each other to death with frozen cow heads and dead babies.
Some fans claim the band sold out with their latest release “Vol. 3: The Subliminal Verses” (their fourth album). This is false however, the band was a bunch of sellouts since the moment they made the band, of course, that’s because every single kid in the town went to the mall to buy that “br00tal music” lol. in truth everyone knows that Corey Taylor listens to ‘br00t4lz DEAthc0re muzak???’
Fans of Slipknot are called “maggots” (more liek faggots amirite??) because most of them are extremely fat, bad-smelling, slimy and pale-skinned, due to never going outside.
Still, they are a million times less stupid than ICP.
